Stupid Stuff Rush Limbaugh Can Say on Future Shows

by Chuck McCoy

Use all of this that you want Rush, your audience will eat it up:

• Black slaves in America had only themselves to blame for being slaves because they had no ambition, no get up and go. For instance, since they sang in the fields all day, after their work hours why didn’t they just rehearse minstrel shows in the slave quarters. Then they could have approached their masters about going on tour. Their masters could pocket all the money and in exchange, the slaves would have become free after X number of years of touring.

• Barack Obama is a loser for still being with his first wife. Unlike me(Rush), Newt Gingrich and Saint Ronald Reagan – we’ve all enjoyed more than one marriage – Obama doesn’t have what it takes to impress the ladies. In fact, the only conclusion you can come up with is he’s probably gay.

• I warn you – in all seriousness – don’t buy a Chevy Volt from those “comrades” at General Motors. I know for a fact, I say this with great certainty – they run on long extension cords and if you get caught in a downtown traffic jam you’ll then realize why conservatives say “drill baby drill.”

• People who don’t have health insurance – I mean, are these people the most pathetic bunch of whiners you’ve ever heard of. There are always options in a personal health care crisis. For instance, there’s that old reliable standby – become a Christian Scientist.

• Exercise freaks … are the ones putting stress on the health care system.*
  *actually, that’s a real Limbaugh quote